Feeling fat.

Today I woke up and it was a whirlwind. It wasn't as if I really thought I would be looking nice to go anywhere. I looked in my closet and I only have two shirts to wear and two pairs of pants. Not because I don't have enough money, but because I can't fit in anything else so I left it behind when I moved. Besides my clothes listed above, I have work clothes. Which as I explained before, are even tight on me.

I have a gift card for J.C. Penney and I also have one for Sears. I'm thinking of getting a shirt or two, just so I can appear to have some variation on the slight chance I go out somewhere. I don't go out really. I mean, for one, where would I go and most importantly, I have nothing to wear to said places. Excuse breakdown? I'm too fat to feel like I'm comfortable in places.

I need to get out of this element and out of this body. It doesn't feel like it's my own or could even be my own. I'm not going to have a happy go lucky weight loss blog like a lot of people. Sure, I might have happy posts if I meet my goals or if something exciting happens like I tried on a smaller size and it fit, but otherwise...probably not. I am kind of a negative person.

I'm off soda as of today and it's going to be hard. I mean even at work soda is everywhere. I work at a movie theater for my part time job and it's obnoxiously delicious smelling. Hotdogs, popcorn, kettlecorn, soda, candy, nachos, etc. It's bad! But, it's a job and it's paying my bills. It's a mater of saying no to food.

I need to learn how to just say no to food that is bad for me. If I can make that happen, I can make a lot of things happen. Life, can happen.

I'm attending a wedding in the summer for one of my friends and I'd really like to wear a slammin' dress to the event. I would also like to appear healthier in the wedding photos. 

Trust is, I want to look nicer in any photo taken of me. Even the facial ones. 

Anyhow, I have to go for now because I'm about to go play bingo with my Mom and Grandma. I just needed to get things out of my head so I could feel more positive and less weighed down by my negative.