Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Depressing.

You know you've lost your weigh (see what I did there) when you are putting clothes away and realize more than half of your wardrobe is too small for you. Whether it be one size or two sizes too small, that shouldn't be the case.  A lot of my clothes are sizes to small for whatever reason. Some might be bought from when I was actually losing weight before and some might be because I gained some inches around the waist. I hate to admit it, but it's true. I let myself go.

I never did get to meet with the nutritionist. Not because I didn't want to, or didn't have the time. I just don't have the $50 to meet with one. Sure that might not sound like a lot, but when your work is only scheduling you 5 hours a week, that's a lot of money you can't afford because of other bills. Heck, if it weren't for my Mom and Grandma helping me out right now, I would be living right back home with them feeling even more depressed.

I don't know what happened to me. I was all excited about losing weight and getting in shape and then I got lazy. I don't know if it is something I did or something that I just gave up on. It's like I said in my last post, I tend to quit and I hate myself for it. I am tired of living the way I do. Whether it is my money situation or the way I'm living my life I don't know, but something has to change for the better.

Today i forced myself to go for a little walk. Even though it was only about .71 of a mile, it felt good to get outside and go. I wanted to go more but I did not have a water bottle with me and as my fellow Nevadans know, 102 weather with no water is not a good idea.

Today I told a friend that I feel STUCK. I don't just feel stuck in my work life, or my school career. I feel stuck in everything. I feel stuck at my weight which hasn't changed at all for the better nor has my body. I'm stuck in a rut and I feel like there is no way out. Luckily, there is no way out but up, right?

So that's the point of today's post. That even though I have been stuck, it's time I scratch and climb my way out of this rut I've let myself get stuck in. My mom is working on losing her weight, joined a gym by her locally and I am so proud of her. We're in different cities or I would go with her definitely. I would love someone to work out with. I wish my Grandma would join her, but alas each person has to make it out of their weight rut on their own.

Maybe this August will be the month I make it out. That's my goal friends. To make it out of this rut and in a positive place come the end of August!

By August 31st I want to be down at least 5 lbs. I'm not going for anything higher than that, because right now 5 lbs seems a million days away.

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